Nation Celebrates Black Baby Adopted by White Family. Here’s Why That’s a Problem.
America loves a feel-good adoption story. On September 7, 2020, the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute (CCAI) announced that it had named a baby called Magnolia as one of their 2020 “Angels in Adoption” honorees. Magnolia, from the San Francisco Bay Area, rose to fame in May 2020 when Gerber announced that she was the first (known) adopted Spokesbaby. America cooed and beamed. But infant adoption is not a simple story of adorable angels, even when they are cute enough to be a Gerber Baby.
The Angel award is meant to celebrate “the extraordinary efforts of individuals, couples, families, and organizations who work tirelessly to advocate for children in need of a family.”
Creating a connection between this apparently worthy, child-centered mission and adopted infants like Magnolia creates a false narrative. The truth is that there are approximately 30 waiting families for every infant voluntarily placed for adoption. It is unlikely that anyone needs to be convinced to adopt these babies. Also, these children already have a family — the family they were born to — who don’t have the resources to be able to parent their child in the way they would like. It is true that there are approximately 100,000 youth in need of permanency in the US foster care system — but they are almost entirely older children who have experienced trauma, and there are fewer families interested in adopting them. In other words, domestic infant adoption doesn’t need a Spokesbaby — but families in poverty and foster youth without permanency do.
Obviously, it is not actually possible for Magnolia to have made extraordinary efforts to advocate for children in need of a family. It is the choices of adults (her adoptive parents, Gerber, CCAI) to cast her in this role. This highlights how the narrative is already being written and spoken for her, by individuals and organizations that want to promote infant adoption as an unqualified good. And it is deeply concerning that Magnolia, who has no voice and choice in the matter, has twice been made the literal poster child for adoption, before she can even speak in complete sentences, much less articulate her thoughts on what it means to her to be adopted.
Although Magnolia’s last name has been widely published, I won’t use it here. As a transracial adoptee myself, I am deeply concerned that Magnolia’s private information has been released first by her adoptive parents, then by Gerber, and now the “Angels in Adoption” program, for the whole world to see. As a mother who placed my first child for adoption in 2001, I am concerned about the impact this publicity will have on Magnolia’s first/birth parents. And as Agency Supervisor for Pact, a non-profit organization in the Bay Area that serves adopted children of color and their families, I have doubts that Magnolia’s best interests are being considered.
Courtney, the adoptive mother, said, “Winning Photo Search is an opportunity to tell Magnolia’s story and shed light on all the beautiful and different ways families are made.” I wish someone had told her the likelihood that as a school-aged child, teenager, and adult, Magnolia won’t be thrilled to have her adoption story archived on the internet.
However, Magnolia’s adoption status will almost always be on display. Magnolia is Black, her adoptive parents and two older siblings are white. As is Ross, the town where she lives. According to Wikipedia, in 2010 Ross was 93.8% white, with only 6 Black residents.
Magnolia has joined the legions of transracial adoptees in the US, predominantly children of color adopted by white parents, many of whom live in places where their child will be racially isolated. Pact hosts a support group for adult adoptees of color which includes members from Baby Boomers to Gen Z; they all talk about the pain of growing up in racial isolation. That’s why Pact has worked for years to recruit adoptive parents of color.
I don’t question the ability of Magnolia’s adoptive parents to love her fully. But being a good transracial adoptive parent requires different skills and knowledge than being a parent to a child who shares your race. Magnolia is the only Black person in her immediate family and practically her entire town. Her parents probably chose to live there because it is their ideal. But it will not be hers.
When adoptees of color heard about Magnolia, we weren’t cooing, we were frustrated to see Gerber joyfully celebrate a Black baby adopted by white parents living in a predominantly white suburb. Although, Magnolia, you are gorgeous and your first/birth parents must be too!
Speaking of first/birth parents, as someone who has placed a child for adoption, I wonder about Magnolia’s first/birth parents.
I wondered about them, watching the “Today” show at home when Magnolia had just won the title of Gerber’s Spokesbaby, seeing their features reflected in their daughter, now declared the cutest baby in the land. Courtney spoke of them with love and admiration; it was refreshing to hear first/birth parents acknowledged in a positive light. She talked about how proud of their daughter they were. I wonder if their experiences are like mine, and so many other first/birth parents — a mixture of grief and joy, regret and acceptance, shame and pride.
I wonder whether the $25,000 Gerber prize would have made a difference in their ability to parent her, because I know poverty is the main reason nationally and worldwide that children are placed for adoption.
I wonder if the adoption agency told them there were Black families looking to adopt. Despite there being approximately 30 waiting families for every infant who is voluntarily placed for adoption, even here in the Bay Area most private adoption agencies cater to primarily white pre-adoptive clients. As the only agency focused on the recruitment of pre-adoptive parents of color, Pact did not get a call from colleagues in the Bay Area, asking if we had profiles of Black families they could share with Magnolia’s expectant parents (which we always do).
Magnolia, you are a blessing in the lives of your families. From one transracial adoptee to another, your journey will not always be easy; I’m sorry it’s been put on display. This isn’t about doing things perfectly, no parents are perfect. To Magnolia’s adoptive and first/birth families, we invite you to join the Pact community and receive the education you’ll need to successfully support Magnolia as a Black adoptee in a white family. I hope you’ll connect Magnolia to her people, including other transracial adoptees who can affirm and mentor her like no one else can.
And I hope America will stop its knee-jerk celebration of infant adoption, and listen to adoptees who say that adoption must privilege children’s needs over parents’ desires.
